How to STOP living a lives of quiet desperation

10 years ago, I read a line which appears on the fourth page of Thoreau’s Walden that hit me like a punch in the stomach.

‘The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation’ 

This was me.

On the face of it, I had so much. But there was a growing sense of gloom that I could not put my finger on. 

My favourite folk singer Christy Moore has a beautiful song that he borrowed from a native American, that I can only assume is based on this quote called, Quiet Desperation. And the lyrics captured the exact feeling.

"My soul is in the mountains

My heart is in the land

I'm lost here in the city

There's so much I don't understand

There's quiet desperation comin' over me

Comin' over me"

This was exactly how I felt, there was quiet desperation comin’ over me. So when I read the line. ‘The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation’  it slammed home. Almost taking my breath away. 

And the keyword here is quiet

No one knew how I felt. I did not really know how I felt in truth. It was something that I was carrying that was slowing me down.

At this point, I had started to lose faith in myself to make a change. I was almost ready to give up my control on a false assumption that life is just what it is. And that I had no control over the way I felt. 

This is why I feel so grateful for Thoreau’s book and Christy’s song as they arrived just when I needed them. It was at this exact moment in time that I was ready to listen. As a wise person once said, “"When the student is ready the teacher arrives."

For me, I was blessed with teachers that arrived in book form, over the next few years that totally transformed my world. Freeing me from a life of quiet desperation to one of meaning and purpose.

Anthony Robbins

Henry Thoreau 

Barbara Fredrickson

Tara Brach

Richard Rhor…… the list goes on and on.

What I have since discovered is that we are most prepared to listen after a major life struggle. It might be an addiction, problem, job loss, marriage breakup, or confinement.

The fall, before the rise, is such a ubiquitous story that it plays throughout all the great literature. 

Perhaps this global fall that we are stumbling over right now, could be the catalyst for a mass of students who are now ready to greet a new teacher. 

So keep your eyes, ears and heart open. It might be a book, youtube clip, news article, song or film, mentor or coach that unlocks something within you that has the power to transform your life.

Maybe now is the time on a mass scale to move away from lives of quiet desperation. To rediscover our songs and sing them.